9 Korean phrases for asking someone's age (and what nunchi has to do with it)

Excuse me, how old are you?

Literally: Though it is rude, how does your age become?

The polite adult way to ask. 실례지만 (excuse the rudeness, but) acknowledges that it is personal, and 어떻게 되세요 asks indirectly instead of 몇 살이에요, which is for children and close friends. Koreans ask early because the answer decides how you address each other.

What year were you born?

Literally: What year-born are you?

The practical version, and the one people actually trade. Korea switched its legal age counting to international age in 2023, but socially people still compare birth years, and 95년생 (born in '95) settles the question without arithmetic.

We're the same age.

Literally: With me, (you are) same-age.

동갑 (same birth year) is a small event in Korea, because it means you can become 친구, a word Koreans reserve for peers of the same age. The -네요 ending shows pleasant surprise, and this line is usually the first step toward dropping formal speech.

Please speak casually with me.

Literally: Speak comfortably.

This is offered by the older or senior person, and should not be requested by the younger one. It gives permission to use 반말 in one direction; the younger person usually keeps 요 a while longer, and that is correct manners, not shyness.

Shall we drop the formal speech?

Literally: Shall we put down speech?

Between people of the same age or close to it, this is how both sides switch to 반말 at once. 말을 놓다 is 'to put down speech', and the -(으)ㄹ까요 makes it a suggestion both can decline. Once accepted, going back to 요 feels like a step away.

May I call you oppa?

Once the age gap is known, the titles follow: a woman calls an older man 오빠 and an older woman 언니, a man calls an older man 형 and an older woman 누나. Asking first is the norm with someone you are getting close to; the titles are warm, so they are not used with strangers.

You read the room fast.

Literally: (Your) nunchi is quick.

눈치 is the skill of sensing what people feel and want without being told, and it is the quality Koreans prize most in a new colleague or partner. 눈치가 빠르다 (quick nunchi) is a real compliment; 눈치가 없다 (no nunchi) is a real criticism.

Don't worry about what anyone thinks.

Literally: Don't watch nunchi.

눈치를 보다 is to watch other people's moods anxiously, the way a junior employee watches the boss. A host says this to a guest who is hesitating over the last piece of chicken, and it means relax, nobody here is keeping score.

Read the room.

Literally: Gather up some nunchi.

Casual speech, for a friend who has not noticed that the couple at the table are fighting or that the boss wants to leave. 챙기다 is to gather up or take care of, so this is literally 'collect some nunchi'. Said with a nudge, not with anger.